She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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