My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
