Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
