Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
