Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
