She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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