Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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