I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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