Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
