I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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