Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
