the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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