CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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