yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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