I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
