Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
