It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
