The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
