my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
