Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
