pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My bed smells like the plague
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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