Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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