Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
