you would pick up someone in the library
it's great music for shaving your balls
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
