Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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