im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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