I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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