iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
