So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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