I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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