Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
