So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
