you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
What drink are we having for lunch?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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