pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were trust falling into bushes
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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