i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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