So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just invented taco cereal.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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