literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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