Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
