Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
