he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am mentally ready for anal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
