I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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