so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
