Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Farmville is her only friend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
