so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
