First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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