Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
