And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
