is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
