If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
