im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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